Chapter Nine

Skimp Settles the Score

 * The grand adventure continues as Bongo and the Bois are trapped between the Zorendal task force and a flaming stone wall, blocking their retreat to the docks of Zan Saresh.
 * Seeing that this is a fight that could be won neither through brains nor brawn, they need an escape route. Bongo starts off by using his spell Create Water to create a person-sized hole through the flames. Then to break through the stone, the repeated blows from Aigee and James eventually blast through the rock and they slink through. Meanwhile Kaw, Skimp, and Thgil were trying their damndest to hold off the five powerful foes, each equipped with a slew of magical items. They were fighting a losing battle though and were each blinded in the process.
 * The only thing that allowed them to find their way through the narrow hole in the wall was the constant autistic screeching that always seemed to emanate from Aigee-Gorg’s horrid goo-mouth ever since he had been infected with the brain creature. Safe and sound on the other side, they sprinted as fast as possible through the streets of the shantytown all the while calling for the crewmen to hoist the sails for a quick departure as The Captain's Retreat plays.
 * Bongo and the Bois had surely not seen the last of the Zorendal warriors.
 * Skimp wasn’t ready to report back to Koryn just yet though. He had a score to settle with his former orcish owner. 
 * He approached Captain Glezden and commanded him to take him back to the opium plantation he slaved on night and day, through blistering heat and freezing snow for 16 years straight. Glezden ignored this request as Skimp’s word had no authority whatsoever, but he offered to sail the Bois over near Baronel after they had reported back to Field Commander Maldrek. 
 * Back at home base, the Bois stocked up on some new armor and potions from a shopkeeper named Urtarr. Kaw bought some leather armor with a rubber body enchantment, Skimp purchased a new spider silk bodysuit that allowed him to scale vertical surfaces, Aigee-Gorg and Bongo each bought an invisibility potion, and James filled up her honey gallon for her glove.
 * While shopping, the bois checked on their old pals Gyystoph and Dyrli (who had fled Rockwater and joined forces with the Ishandryn Empire in Koryn). Gyystoph was working diligently on a secret project. When questioned about the project, the old bloke refused to give any information.
 * Finished with shopping, the bois waltzed on over to Field Commander Maldrek to swooce right in. The bois showed the field commander the decapitated head of the sleeper agent, Freddie “Macho Man” Savage. The tiefling took the head, and gave the bois their earned payment.
 * Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me.
 * After this reunion, the bois headed off to Captain Glezdon’s ship, where they’d be sailin’ off to the Zorendal Empire to a small plantation southeast of Aurelia and north of Baronel. On the ship ride over, Skimp explained his past to the bois: “Well fellas, here’s my life story: Grew up on a slave plantation. I was forced to work the opium fields from a very young age. I had no friends even amongst the other kobold slaves I was shacked with. The only person ever to show me any kindness was a wizard named Klistmar. My only comfort was my quick wits and my focus on escaping. I practiced with a fire poker everyday using what little free time I had. Eventually I got so good that I slew the slave driver and ran off. ” Skimp went on and on about various aspects of his life on Cragrock Plantation, after a couple of hours, the bois arrived at the shore of the Zorendal Empire.
 * “Land ho!” Glezdon cried. Bongo and the Butterbeers departed Glezdon and his merry crew and took to the woods. Onward, to Skimp’s plantation!!! Adventure away!!!
 * But, alas, happy times were not had; the bois encountered a horrible diseased tumor of a tree on their way to their destination. Instead of merely avoiding the rotten carcass of wood that was most definitely a trap, the very intelligent Skimp decides to investigate further, going against Bongo’s protests.
 * Yikes! As it turned out, the tree was harbouring a mass of undead corpses in its leaves! The corpses, still attached to vines, dropped down from the canopy and attacked the bois. Skimp stepped back in pure stuppored bemusement, if only he had listened to Bongo’s warnings, the boys would not be in this predicament.
 * Regardless of whoever’s fault it was, this battle was now unavoidable. Nobody could run away from a fighting tree. 
 * Aigee focused on fighting against the tree itself, whilst the rest of the bois battled with the undead baddies, but The Goo Fellow made little progress. 
 * Kaw, growing fed up with this nonsense, conjured an all-powerful SNOWBALL in his crow-hand. Focusing all of his power into this single attack, he Naruto ran up to the tree and ruthlessly SLAMMED it into the ground, leaving a massive smoking crater. The bois stared at Kaw in awe, unable to believe that the crow-man possessed such awesome power. However, the tengu had not defeated the tree all on his own, for the spirit of Urgathoa aided him in the victory, granting him a small portion of her strength to uproot the villainous plant. 
 * Kaw’s glorious slamming of the tree would forever be immortalized within the songs of bards all across Soresia. With the enemy vanquished, Kaw once again flawlessly performed The Break-Dance of Victory. Aigee was furious that Kaw stole his kill and started to sulk.
 * The bois investigated the fallen tree and found a mysterious glowing crystal within! Bongo took the crystal and stowed it safely away in his bag of holding.
 * The bois, still unable to comprehend the attack they’d just witnessed Kaw preform, continued onwards to the opium plantation, steering clear of any more trees (even though they are still in the middle of a forest), with Bongo leading the way through this familiar terrain.
 * “Look! Up ahead! There it is!” Skimp calls, pointing to the large opium plantation.
 * Brushing aside the dense shrubbery, the Bois gasped at the glorious fields of opium that stretched before them, as far as the eye could see. In the center of the plantation stood a magnificent house with numerous stories and hundreds of rooms within. This was clearly the dwelling of an immensely wealthy individual. And off to the side of the breathtaking home, Skimp spotted the slaves’ quarters, a tiny, cluttered shack of rotten wood. Inside the repulsive shack, the floor was strewn with bits of straw and filth, and stained with blood. Rage boiled within the rogue as his body trembled, remembering the cold pain of the slaver’s lashing whip upon his face and back. 
 * Skimp draws his rapier, and without taking his glaring eyes away from the plantation house, he tells his comrades, “Follow me.” 
 * A resonance of angelic sound rang out through the woods, “Praise ReviewBrah. All hail, ReviewBrah.” it said.
 * The bois follow Skimp the rouge. “Hey this is a pretty nice place!” Aigee said with a big smile, “I’d love to live here! Wouldn’t you, Skimp?” Skimp said nothing, he only scowled at the goo sulli. Aigee, who couldn’t understand subtleties, said, “All this opium though... I’d hate to have to farm all of that! But I guess that’s what slaves are for, right Skimp?” 
 * “Aigee! I will pummel you into the dirt if you don’t shut your goo!” Skimp growled. Aigee replied, “Into the dirt? You mean this very fertile dirt? This dirt that is perfect for farming opium? Is that the dirt you’re talking about? The very same dirt that you had to work on everyday for most of your life?”
 * Skimp drew his raper and charged towards Aigee. Bongo and James had to hold the triggered rat back so he didn’t rip Gorg apart (it would have been so easy). Kaw tried egging the furious rouge on, “Yeah, get ‘em, Skimp!” James booshed Skimp into submission, saving Aigee’s gooey neck. Although Skimp’s blood is boiling at this point, he knows that cooler heads oft prevail and decides to spare the slime. 
 * The path that they follow leads them through the vast fields of opium, still yet to be harvested, and eventually opens up to the lawn of the slaver’s mansion. There was a very large orcish man huddled on the ground a few yards from the door. At his belt lay a few very ornate weapons, a bejeweled rapier and a curved, hand-carved dagger of the finest quality, and several expensive looking potions. Skimp immediately recognizes this man as the son of his former master.
 * “Hey boy!” the orcish man shouts, sauntering on over to Skimp with his rapier and dagger drawn, “No lollygagging! Back to work! This opium ain’t gonna pick itself now!” But before Skimp can respond, the opium begins to pick itself. The orc, fuming with anger, runs into an old abandoned warehouse with tears streaming from his piggish eyes, trailing down his spaghetti-smeared cheeks. 
 * He promptly emerges from The Big Shaq with his jacket on. This man is not hot. He approaches Skimp with such a cold look that Skimp has no choice but to get his jacket out of the bindle and keep it on for the remainder of the fight that will inevitably occur.
 * Aigee, as usual, has no idea what has transpired and in his childlike mumblings he blurts out, “Skimp, take off your jacket.” Skimp impatiently replies, “Come on Aigee. Man’s not hot.”
 * “Well well well,” the ugly orc-man chortled to nobody in particular, “Slap me thrice and hand to me mama. If it isn’t the dirty thief who stole the life of my father. I should tie you to the whippin’ post right now, add more than a few scars to your filthy hide.”
 * Skimp smiles and says quietly, “You’re gonna love this. Trust me.”
 * “I tell you what slime,” says the big man, “You give me the satisfaction of tearing your head off myself, and I won’t command my thralls to kill your friends. I really don’t think you have it in you. Why don’t I just call forth my army right now. There’s no way a yellow bellied slave-rat like you could take me anyways.”
 * Skimp seizes this moment to prove to himself and to the world that he deserves his freedom and he is not afraid to fight for it. The orc was right about Skimp being yellow for he has now ascended past his already ascended form, changing his hair (and therefore his entire body) into a vibrant yellow and giving off a powerful aura of the same color.
 * Skimp chuckles to himself as the man tries to seem unimpressed. “What a useless transformation. You’ve changed your hair so what.”
 * Bongo points out to Skimp that James turned super saiyan before he did, so this is nothing new. Skimp then replies that this is a super saiyan that has ascended past a super saiyan. “Or. you can call this a super saiyan 2,” Skimp says with a cocky smirk.
 * The orc takes off his jacket. He is hot. Sweat is pouring down his pale face. His knees are weak. His arms spaghetti. He does not hold tight my man. He does not have the frisbee. 
 * Skimp and the orc ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!!!!
 * Skimp goes first and gulps down an invisibility potion that he has stolen from Aigee’s nasty bindle. Aigee watches this and wonders where Skimp got this potion since he hasn’t bought any. This thought quickly passes as Aigee finds something more interesting inside of his goo nose which he promptly picks out of one nostril and puts it in the other. “I DON’T TAKE OFF MY JACKET FOR NO ONE!” invisible Skimp shouts, his voice echoing all across the plantation, immediately giving away his location to the orc.
 * “Ha! Found ya!” the orc cried as he struck Skimp with his pointy point. Skimp took the blow then scurried off, still invisible. “Show yourself, coward!” the orc yelled.
 * “Get ‘em Skimp! Show that villain who’s boss!” Aigee squealed, cheering on his unreciprocated friend.
 * “I’m the villain?!” the orc shot at Aigee, “This dirty rat killed my father and I’m the bad guy?!” The orc starts toward Aigee who is by now cowering behind Big Boy Bongo, intent on eviscerating the goo but much to the orc’s dismay, the pointy end of Skimp’s rapier emerges from his chest. The orc growls in pain and reaches down at his belt for a potion of healing but it is quickly stabbed away by Skimp.
 * He reaches down for another one but to no avail. Skimp had already slished the belt clean in half, causing the potions to crash upon the ground, useless.
 * The orc goes off on a rambling monologue about how he was superior in every way and ends with a mention of his magical rapier that could temporarily grant the gift of unlife to the wielder. He turns the rapier on himself and plunges it in his gut. His skin begins to blacken and decay as a disease spreads across his body, fully encasing him in the flesh of the dead. Skimp was growing bored of this battle anyway. He was eager for a challenge.
 * The two duel in the courtyard for hours upon hours leaving both parties bruised and bloodied. The orc could not contain his fury, losing all cognitive abilities and swinging the heavily enchanted rapier to and fro like a mace. Skimp was able to keep his cool and dodge easily, able to get in a few stabs and strikes here and there until the orc had taken one too many hits and collapses to his knees.
 * “You are a slave. That’s all you have ever been and all you will ever be. Killing me won’t change that,” the orc chokes out through the blood in his mouth.
 * “Perhaps,” Skimp says cooly,  “but it’ll feel really damn good.” as he plunged the rapier deep into the orc’s chest, bending him backwards and sticking it into the ground. Skimp takes his hand off of his rusty old rapier, leaving it still frozen in the same position, and picks up the rapier and dagger that his former master was wielding. The rapier was beautifully crafted from the finest material, inlaid with gold trimming and ornately cut gemstones. The blade was sharp as can be but had an unhealthy aura that radiated death itself. The dagger seemed quite plain, just a silver curved dagger with a leather hilt, but when Skimp grasped it, three spectral daggers floated about. He could guess what these did.
 * Skimp smiled as he called over to Aigee, “Ya know, I’ve been treating you bad. How about you go ahead and hit me as hard as you can to make up for it.”
 * Aigee, with the everpresent glazed look in his eye, slurs, “Oh gee, that’d be fun.” Aigee charges forward going brings his fist back and goes for a wild haymaker, but just before Aigee’s fist landed Skimp square in the jaw, one of the translucent daggers zoomed in an blocked the blow. The crack of Aigee breaking his hand could be heard from miles away.
 * Kaw ignores Gorg’s moans and beckons the others, “Let’s see what that old coot had stowed away in that big ol house of his.” Skimp doesn’t mention that for some reason, the orc had twenty thousand gold pieces tucked in his pockets. “Yeah, he always did love flaunting his wealth around,” Skimp replies.
 * They follow Skimp into the house to search for any valuables that the kook may have left lying around. Much to Skimp’s surprise, they found a large safe hidden behind a large painting of the plantation owner dressed up in his oh so tight tennis playin’ clothes. The lock was swiftly disabled and inside they found treasures of a different sort. Two grabby rat hands, each equipped with five grabby rat fingers, swooced in, grabby grabbied, then swooced back out revealing, among other similar things, a small photograph of the orc family that owned the plantation. The man that Skimp had just murdered was still a young tike without a care in the world sitting on his papa’s shoulders.
 * Disgusted, Skimp tosses the photo (probably just a very small painting as there are no cameras) down onto the floor and promptly stomps it. Bongo the hoarder quickly grabs it and stows it in his bag of holding, as a keepsake.
 * There was really nothing left in the house other than some ragged nobleman’s clothes that James had laid claim to, so the Bois went outside to investigate the area further. Near the main house there was a smaller shed-looking building that emanated a strange aura. Inside there was another purple crystal like the one that was inside of the gallows tree except this one was much bigger, slightly larger than a volleyball.
 * Also inside the shack were various notes written by Skimp’s old wizard friend Klistmar that explained how he had trapped his own soul to escape the growing wrath of the slave driver after he had lost his mind. Skimp’s rat hands quickly snatch it up, already forming an idea of how to get the one friend from his past back into a body.